Lawn Mowers & Hot Coffee

It started yesterday afternoon when I decided I would try to mow my lawn into shapes, well patterns, well anything different! I had gotten valid instructions at a party I went to on Saturday, but I never did write them down. I mean how hard can it be to mow your lawn in a figure 8 pattern? Doing that, I was told, would create the illusion of a checker board. Oh, good fun for me! I get bored mowing in circles all the time, but my lawn is more weed than grass so I wondered what it would actually look like. Hoping for that well manicured baseball field look I set out on a mission. That mission soon failed terribly and I resorted back to circular mowing.

The difficulty of changing patterns in lawn mowing and in life can be daunting. Ick, I hate change! I know, the only constant in life is change and I can tell myself that over and over again. Maybe it was the heat, the sweat running down my back or the impending storm clouds that sent me into a pit of despair. But all of a sudden I felt a tremendous weight inside, you know what I mean? Like WTF, what is my purpose? Why the Hell am I here? And why did I sign on to mow lawns or write blogs or interact with others? How can I remain upbeat when everything in my life is up in the air? How can I maintain a consistent mental attitude of forward motion and acceptance of change when all I want to do is lay by the beach and sip lemonade? Then euphemisms began popping into my thoughts, "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade!" I shouted back, take your lemonade and shove it up your a$$! But why do I fight with myself, or some poor slob who invented a universal phrase that is intended to change the way we look at things? Why am I so angry?

Ah, finally the real question comes to mind! Why am I so angry? What do I have to be angry about? Starting over? That's a good one! Putting myself in this position? Another good one! Being a bad money manager? Top-o-the-list! What have I learned? Hmmm? What have I learned? Doesn't seem like much yet! I'm still mowing in circles! Will I attempt to fashion my front lawn into a checker board again? Yes, I think I will. Not because I really want checker board shapes in my lawn, although it would be fun to look at, but because often when I try something new for the first time I fail miserably! I was watching some video on inspiring people and Thomas Edison was mentioned way too many times, but the thing is, and I didn't know this, it took him a thousand tries to master the light bulb. A thousand tries? That's a sweaty thought! And I think a better person to look at when we examine the genius in history is Nicola Tesla who was the real inventor, the real visionary who never got the credit he deserved, but that didn't stop him from continuing his work!

See, we are all a lot like children we want that reward. Oh, if I do this I will be rewarded by that big Mommy or Daddy in the sky. Other people will think I'm great and I will get all this praise. You know the drill. But the real deal is this, if you get enjoyment out of mowing your lawn in shapes or developing electricity or changing the world with Hot Coffee, than just do it, even if nobody is watching, even if nobody cares, even if you are the only one who is looking, because at the end of the day all you've got is You! Look at your own lawn and smile! Stare out your own window into the breaking dawn and give yourself a big hug. Create what you want to create and be happy in that accomplishment and be happy in your perceived failure. Why? Because it just feels good! And, never ever quit!