Finding Gifts in Silence

I do my best work when it's quiet, when there are no sounds to distract, when there is no music playing and when I still the random, useless thoughts in my head. I wait for words to come, to type on this page and they always do.

I've been given the gift of living in solitude, to choose the sounds I want, to choose what I want to look at and surround myself with. I've been given the gift of introspection, a pathway towards inner peace. I have noticed that I can go into myself even in a crowded place and simply observe what goes on, but when I do this an odd thing happens, people ask me what's wrong. People ask me if I'm okay simply because I am not saying anything, simply because I am quiet and calm. But why does this happen? Is it difficult to be quiet? Is it hard to look for quiet spaces away from the endless chatter that surrounds us, the endless humming of machines, and TV's and leaf blowers? Or maybe we just get used to the sounds, a constant droning hum that plays in the background of our lives and we look for comfort there. For even if we sit on a mountain top we hear the wind, we hear the birds, we hear life. I just like to keep it down to a bare minimum, because I feel more peaceful with less stimulus.

I know most people don't feel like that and sometimes this knowledge makes me feel very different in a world of high pitched sounds and fast paces and constant chatter. My favorite people are the ones who I can sit in silence with. We feel comfortable enough with each other to say nothing at all, to just be and do and smile. It's a comfort beyond words and I notice it, but it's rare. I notice I feel pulled to converse, to fill the silence with anything. Then I will stop myself and just see what happens when I don't say anything at all, when I let the silence expand and I listen. I give my full attention to the other person and strange, wonderful experiences occur. When I am silent and open people speak to me, they allow me to be the place they come to be heard and that is another gift.

I have been counting my gifts today and when I seek them out I can find them everywhere. I have been finding them in hidden places I had not looked before, because while I'm Thankful for the obvious I am also Thankful for being me, for being different.

What about you makes you Thankful for being who you are?

Grace of My Heart

A good friend of mine once told me that I was one of the strongest women he had ever met. A hard concept to wrap my head around when I am in the middle of it, but looking back by doing a life review I can see that I have been, and like the woman in this movie much of what I had to be strong about was self imposed. Self imposed because I lacked the wisdom of my own inner vision. Self imposed because I let obstacles get in the way of pursuing my dreams. I think we all have dreams that we let fall by the wayside while we get swept up in pursuing road side attractions and that is fine, since our lives here are a journey. Films like "Grace of My Heart" remind me that we are all human and fragile and what our hearts want will be fulfilled as long as we keep looking for answers and working towards what we love to do, even in the midst of seeming misfortune! Sometimes we have to let the people in our lives who care hold the vision for us when we can't! Surround yourself with those people and they can help you get back on your path!