Your Life As A Movie

Do you ever sit around and get stuck in it? Your life that is? I know I do, especially now with all the decisions I have to make, and the road blocks that keep getting thrown up. Seems it's just not that simple to get rid of stuff. I remember a time when you could call someone and they would come and buy the contents of your house, but that just ain't so anymore. You have your antique snobs. You have your yard sale kleptos. And anymore you can't give the stuff away. I guess at this point there is just too much stuff in the world. 2 or 3 people at my yard sale told me they didn't see anything they couldn't live without, I hear that. And in the meantime I'm still living amongst boxes.

You know how you start out on a journey? You decide to go somewhere, you make a plan, map it out and begin the trip. The road unfolds in front of you for miles and then you see a detour, or a pit stop and you are stopped in your tracks. You can't move forward and you can't turn around because you are determined to get where you are going. So you wait and you tackle the first block and then the second, but you can't seem to navigate the next one which feels like a lay over in an unknown place. Everything is the same and everything is different and you begin to wonder what to do, so you wait. You wait for inspiration. You wait for clarity. You ask for directions. You can see what's on the other side, but the wall still remains. Too high to jump. Too wide to navigate around and you're stumped.

Sitting and waiting provides you with time to rewind the movie that is your life. You can look back on all that you've done. You can see what's gotten you here, but the film has already been produced. You can't edit, even though you'd like to. You view the happy, the sad, the boring, the mundane, the significant and it's opposite. What did you create? What did I create? Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Is it a mystery? Is it an action flick? For me it's been all and then some, but now I want to create an independent film. I can write the script and visualize the story in my mind and then produce it. I will need backers. I will need people to share my vision with. I will need funding sources. I will need a plan for road blocks and weather conditions. I will need tenacity and creativity and imagination, but most of all I will need a kick in the ass to get me started, because I'm feeling kind of stuck. It's all up in the air and if I could manage to get a few things to come together I would be able to start rolling again. For now I will get out paper and pen and write something, because that's how I roll.