Abraham-Hicks - Living life in appreciation

Why Not? It is a beautiful world! Happy Sunday!

You Are A Gift!

And the Lyrics, because why? Because I Love Words!

Imagine a month of Sundays
Each one a cloudy day
Imagine the moment the sun came shining through
Imagine that ray of sunshine as you

Remember your darkest hour
With dawn still far away
Remember the way that you longed for mornings light
And think of yourself as a candle in the night

Make believe this is the first day
Everything all brand new
Make believe that the sun is your own lucky star
And then understand the kind of gift you are

The gift you are
like the very first breath of spring
The gift you are
all the joy that love can bring
The gift you are
all of our dreams come true
The gift you are
the gift of you

You are the promise of all the ages
You are the Prodigal Son
You are the vision of prophets and sages
You are the only one

Dream of a bright tomorrow
Know that your dream will come true
Carry your dream in a sparkling crystal jar
Then you will know the kind of gift you are

The gift you are
like the very first breath of spring
The gift you are
all the joy that love can bring
The gift you are
all of our dreams come true
The gift you are
the gift of you

The gift you are
like the very first breath of springtime
The gift you are
all the joy that love can bring
The gift you are
all of our dreams come true - yes they do
The gift you are
the gift of you
The gift you are
the gift of you

Words and music by John Denver

Have A Great Day!

Letting Go - You Just Know!

But how do you know? Me, I have an addictive personality and knowing that requires me to monitor myself constantly. I hate it! I hate having to examine every decision, every relationship, every bite of food I put into my mouth. Let me rephrase. I did hate it, but I'm getting used to it, because I have found that myself always knows what's right and what's good and what I should do, but I don't want to do it because the way I've always done it feels more comfortable. I know it's going to sound weird, but pain has been my comfort zone. Disliking myself has been my norm and thinking I don't deserve everything I desire wrapped in a bow has been my M.O., huh that rhymed. Anyway, some wise person said, "if you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you always got!"

Up until recently you could have posted my picture next to that quote with a giant read arrow pointing at my head and mostly it had to do with quote, Love relationships, but at this moment I see things so much differently. I am also a "Love Addict", or I should say an un-love addict. Falling in hopeless obsession with with every emotionally unavailable man I could find and then watching the relationship turn into a train wreck while he cheated on me behind my back. But the thing is I knew, but I didn't want to know, but I knew, but I didn't want to know. So I would turn myself into a Barbie or a pretzel or a workaholic or a bitch or whatever it was I thought he wanted just so he would love me. Then I found that if you looked up the word obsession in the dictionary my photo was planted right next to it as well, and I had to take a good solid look at what I was doing to myself, how much of my life I was wasting on these thoughts and I decided to stay single for 3 years while I healed or thought I was healing my addiction, and then I started dating again knowing I was a better, brighter person, who couldn't possibly repeat the same mistakes again. Stop here and insert the word NOT into the life lessons column and then read on, because real healing requires real testing and real tests can be failed. And, those tests will be repeated until you get it right.

When your gut tells you that something is wrong hear it, feel it and act with it because deep down in the recesses of your soul you just know, but if you always do what you've always done you will always get what you always got. Of course if you want more of the same have at it! But I like the feeling of being loved, and I could not have known what it really felt like to be loved if I had not been in relationships with people who did not love me, because when someone loves you there are no questions, no need to obsess, wonder or monitor. You just know! So, oddly, I want to Thank every person who has treated me like shit, cheated on me, or used me for their own convenience because without them I would never have learned what real love is!

What does any of this have to do with being foreclosed upon? How about everything! My model of security was skewed! I thought if I had the American Dream I would never ask for anything more, but you will always want more until you are secure with yourself, until you stop looking outside yourself for answers. I have found that I don't want any of it and I never did. I thought that if others saw me as independent, hard working, uber responsible and gorgeous it would all be plopped in my lap and I would be secure, but once that illusion was shattered I saw that I could ask for love and get it, there's a big surprise! I could ask for help and get it and that the people who really loved me would show up in droves to help me out. And so I just know that letting go of that clinging, needy feeling that keeps me bound to my past is the only way to really move forward. So I say let go of what you think you want and watch the miracles happen!

Robbing Peter to Pay Paul

My mother always used to say that she was robbing Peter to pay Paul. I always wondered who Peter and Paul were, but now I think I know. For me it has mostly been overdrawing my checking account at huge fees just so I could pay one or two big bills. It made sense to me to pay a $25.00 fee to keep the lights on or the mortgage paid. So I'm thinking that Peter was the bank and Paul was the also the Bank, cuz a bank owns my mortgage too. I think banks own a lot of stuff, but they just don't tell anybody. The weird part about it is that I read somewhere that if everybody went into the bank and withdrew all their money it wouldn't actually be there. I'm not sure how this works, but it seems not legal.

But this morning as I sit here contemplating how I will get rid of all my "stuff" it dawns on me that I just have too much! What if all I could do was walk out of here with only those things I could carry? It wouldn't be too much. And the thought of that causes me to think about what is truly valuable to me. I'd take all my journals, as of last count that's 3 boxes. I'd take all my photos and photo books another 2 boxes. I need my bed. I need my clothes. I can't carry all that crap. Shit, what about my computer and my desk, my beloved books, oh and my dog, (maybe I could hook a harness on her and she could pull some stuff, poor thing), she can carry herself as long as I keep her fueled up.

My office is skeletal compared to what it once was and I wish I had emptied it out a long time ago. Why do we save so much? Why do we hold onto so much? My point is the whole issue of having so much "stuff" is crazy. Letting go of it seems freeing. I can't tell you how hard it is for me to decide what to sell, what to keep and what to trash. And the storage unit industry is booming and it's ugly. Have you seen the storage malls cropping up every where. People storing crap they will never need for fear of letting go. I understand temporary storage, but long term storage?

Looks like Joseph and Sandy have decided to downsize to a 350 square foot home.
Click on that link there's a video and everything. Not too sure if I could live in that shape home, but there are more options. Some people are turning storage units into gorgeous living spaces and the beauty there is they come fully equipped and almost snap together. A perfect option if I can find a state with no land tax.

The thing is there are only a few things I have that I cannot replace and those I will keep, but the most important stuff is not material. I know it's cliche but in this life, in this world, what's truly meaningful are the people you love, the people you trust and the people who love you. If it were not for them I would never be able to get through this. Since I began this blog and even before when I admitted what was happening I have experienced and out pouring of love, support and even money from those who really care. And let me tell you it's times like these when you find out who's in it with you for the long haul. Those are the people you should hang on to. You know the ones you can call up at 3 in the morning? The ones you can bare your soul too and never feel judged or humiliated. The ones whose embrace you can feel even when they aren't present. So even if I had to walk away from here with nothing I would still have the most important necessity in life, LOVE. What else is there? So Love those who love you. Trust those people who show up in your life even when it's messy and ugly and painful. Then give back whatever you can even if it's only a listening ear or an open heart. Dispense all that "stuff" you've been holding on too because all we will ever have is each other!